Hostess Declares Bankruptcy, But There’s Twinkies Galore on eBay for all you Ding-Dongs

Posted by on Nov 16, 2012 in On The Street | 0 comments

Gone, like a Twinkie in the nighttime sky.

One of my greatest regrets (not that I have many) about turning vegan was that I wasn’t able to indulge in any of the many delectably diabetes-inducing, freakish concoctions that the Hostess baking company produced by the millions every day. But now I guess I don’t even have anything to regret on. Except that maybe there are now a gaggle of eBay trolls offering an unopened box of Twinkies for the reasonable price of $500 USD.

Early this Friday morning, Hostess declared it would be shuttering all business and liquidating their stock out of their bakeries, after union strikes, low profit margins and a healthier change in the American diet finally did them in. This resulted in a Ho-Ho induced wave of Ho-Hoarding.

@SeinfeldTV

We wonder if folks are going to be hoarding Twinkies the way Elaine hoarded sponges #seinfeld #Hostess

Betty F*ckin’ White ‏@BettyFckinWhite

I will never forget the first time I put Ding Dongs in my mouth.#hostess

Nick Cannon ‏@NickCannon

Hostess is going out of business!!! Better stock up now!

Last time I saw this much demand for a preservative-laden, calorie-ridden piece of industrial waste, , it was in elementary school… when one of my friends won a bet and fought over who got the bigger half of a Devil Dog.

If there was so much demand and appreciation for these saccharine strudels, then why didn’t they come to the aid of Hostess sooner? Surely, something like this could have been avoided, say, if sales went up, if people stopped complaining about pay cuts like wussies (after all, there are tons of people who work for FREE– ahem, interns) and finally, if people stopped being so damned healthy.

After all, one deliciously sweet (and maybe just a little bit dry) 3-decade old Twinkie isn’t going to kill you, right?

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